but i do love the internet! i went online the next day and sure enough found some very helpful information about solving the spotty problem.
i spot treated the really bad spots first, then i soaked the whole lot for about an hour in warm water with 1 1/2 cups of oxyclean and 2 full caps of cold water tide detergent. i washed the lot and about 95% of the clothes came out clean...another wash and all is well!
to clean out my dryer, i scrubbed the spots with colgate toothpaste and a toothbrush! perfecto!
now i must say that i check pockets religiously....rocks, erasers, crayons, used band aids, etc.......what a little pack rat my dd has become ;0)